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Self Care Tips

Stop That Negative Self Talk

Karen Rowinsky - Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Setbacks, mistakes, or things not turning out the way we want them to, often leave us feeling dejected and down on ourselves. When things go wrong, many of us will automatically turn inward believing that we are flawed or not good enough. These negative beliefs about ourself impact our every thought--and not in a positive way.

One way to build self-esteem is to be aware when these automatic thoughts occur, and then learn how to disagree with them immediately. For most of us it is easier to argue with a friend when she is feeling bad about herself. We point out how she is human, that she has many fine qualities, and she succeeds more than she fails. We dispute her negative beliefs about herself.

That's exactly what I'm suggesting you do for yourself. The next time you feel like you have made a mistake, instead of immediately berating yourself for your stupidity, stop a moment and examine whether the situation deserves such criticism. If it does, decide on a corrective action. If it doesn't, then dispute your automatic belief and convince yourself that you, too, are human and this mistake doesn't mark you for life, or is an example of your being inadequate.

Self care is making the argument to yourself that you are good enough. It is also disputing negative beliefs about yourself. Those two actions will increase your self-esteem and add positive energy to your mind, body, and spirit.

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